My adult son is refusing to have a relationship with me because I supposedly emotionally “abused” him as a child. How do I get him to just grow up and get over it as all his allegations happened years ago?

 

It's understandable that you may feel frustrated or hurt by your son's refusal to have a relationship with you, but it's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Dismissing your son's allegations as something he should just "get over" may invalidate his experiences and feelings, potentially exacerbating the rift between you. Instead, consider taking responsibility for your actions and demonstrating genuine remorse for any past behavior that may have caused harm.

Engage in open and honest communication with your son, expressing your willingness to listen to his perspective and understand how he has been affected by his experiences. Avoid becoming defensive or minimizing his feelings, and acknowledge the validity of his emotions, even if you don't agree with his interpretation of events. This can help foster trust and create a safe space for him to express his concerns and grievances.

Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in family dynamics and healing from childhood trauma may also be beneficial. A neutral third party can facilitate productive conversations, provide guidance on how to navigate difficult emotions, and help both you and your son work towards reconciliation and healing. It's important to approach therapy with an open mind and a willingness to address difficult topics in order to make progress towards rebuilding your relationship.

Ultimately, repairing a strained parent-child relationship requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to acknowledge past mistakes. By taking proactive steps to listen to your son, validate his feelings, and work towards understanding and resolution, you can demonstrate your commitment to rebuilding trust and repairing your relationship with him.

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